Living in a large urban city means there are many little interactions that could easily be passed over without much thought. My job as a writer is to be observant of these moments, and to think deeper about them than the average person; I want to bring things that are hidden to the surface in order to see what value they might hold.
One such moment occurred this morning. Waiting in line at Starbucks, I overheard conversation between two Starbucks employees. One woman, busy at the espresso bar making drinks had a sharp (and forced polite) tone in her voice. "You really think that's a correct course of action?" She did not look at the recipient of this comment, but the man next to her, working on an adjacent espresso bar, responded. "Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. The rioters are just trying to make themselves heard, and now the government is finally listening!" It's clear these two were discussing the riots that are ongoing in London, England. For several days, rioters have been wreaking havoc in this city - one of the main stages of Western civilization.
Their conversation continued. A third employee - a very tall, deep-voiced man, chimed in, "You really think rioting is a good thing? Rioting means no electricity, no gasoline, no food for people!" He shook his head while pouring the drink he was mixing into a cup. He was flabbergasted, and holding back his anger. Outnumbered, the riot sympathizer did not respond. Later, he brought up the topic again, and the woman said with irritation, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. This conversation is going nowhere." The man spoke with disappointment as if to the space between the two employees, "This is the problem - nobody wants to talk about these things, and we need to."
I kept thinking about this last comment. My instinct, and one that many people have when overhearing this type of conversation, is an initial red alert. I have been brought up with the value of politeness (Don't they say to never discuss religion or politics in a social situation?). Furthermore, arguing in front of customers is considered bad service. I could imagine the manager coming over and reminding the three employees that people just want their coffee, not to walk into a cafe full of employees debating an uncomfortable social issue. This idea of customer service - of putting up a pretty face for people even if this means you let go of your personal dignity, is much a product of our post-industrial commercial economy, with an emphasis on providing a 'product' for the public rather than really seeing the business as a part of the real fabric of the community, where real conversations happen. In this economy, even the employee becomes part of the product itself, an objectification of a human.
And yet, isn't this part of the reason that our society is in so much trouble? We have learned, collectively, to turn off the conversation when things get uncomfortable, when things get real. We trade authenticity for productivity. In my travels, I have time and again noticed our unique cultural aversion to discussing 'uncomfortable' topics like politics or religion, whether talking with strangers or close relatives and friends. I've been in considerably less 'open' societies in places like Burma, Latin America, and Samoa, where people are shockingly open to conversations about topics that would make most Americans cringe to discuss openly. I mean, these people are not ashamed of having opinions and they really want to hear mine! And yet, it seems taboo to have these same conversations at a block party in my neighborhood. We seem to relegate these conversations to the personally distant and formal forums of the media. Why?
I don't know why, but lately I've been wishing more people would leave the expectation of mere 'politeness' behind, and start discussing the real stuff. It would be refreshing to talk about that which goes beyond small talk, traffic and weather, and gets down to the core of what makes us human - both individually and collectively. In the end, I agree with the employee this morning. "Nobody wants to talk about these things - and we need to."
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